Why guys are lucky and girls are not: Reason #17

Cold toilet seats.

I hate to sit on a cold seat. I'm thinking about creating a seat warmer and carrying it with me wherever I go.

Some Rambling

My schedule continues to make my head spin, but hopefully the madness will end after this week. I wanted to at least post a couple of things before I forget them.

First, I got to hang out with Shae and the Q Monday night. I just wanted to put that out there and a big neener neener to whomever that might apply. ;)

Second, I have some great personalities in PE this semester. These kids make life so much more interesting. I am hopeful, however, that they are unable to procreate. They are that kind of interesting. "Hey, Miss Wright," said Buddy* the other day. "I-I-I need to pick my hair." He has a huge curly mop top that he likes to pick out into an even huge-er 'fro (that is right, I said huge-er). "Yeah, I think it looks pret-ty good today Buddy." I like to compliment him on it whenever I can. It makes him feel good inside.
This is not a picture of Buddy (*name changed to protect student's hair...and identity). This is a picture of Buddy in 30 years.
The other day he was playing basketball and of course wanted to play with the more competitive group, so I let him. The only problem was he didn't know how to play. Naturally, he came to me for some pointers because I'm real smart and all.
"Coach?!...Coach?!"
"Yeah, Buddy?"
"How do I get open so they can pass me the ball?"
I tried to show him a v-cut, then a jab step, then finally I told him to just run around and try to be faster than the other guys. It didn't work out too well for him. They tried to include him, but he wasn't sure what to do when he got the ball. I have to give him credit for trying though. I gave him 20 points worth of credit in fact. Later that same class we transitioned to volleyball, and he asked again. "Hey, coach, can you show me again how to get open for basketball? What can I do to get away from those guys?"
I tried to show him a V-cut again. No go. Then I made the mistake of telling him he could use a little shoulder to give them a nudge out of his way.
"So can I elbow them in the stomach?"
"Um, no. Probably not a good idea."
"But in street ball I could elbow them in the stomach, right Coach?"
"No. Uhhh, definitely no. Hey, why don't we just stick to volleyball."
"Okay, Coach."

Third, I just lost my crown. My tooth crown. I still have the other one.

Happy Wednesday.

My coffee was moldy this morning. Or mildewy. Or something that made me want to scrape my tongue. I don't think my coffee was the culprit so much as my coffee thermos. No, I didn't look inside before I poured my coffee in. Yes, since I haven't used it in a couple of months, I probably should have.

On a Roll

This hasn't been my best week. In fact, in the past seven days I've managed to reduce my pride to absolute shambles. I have a knack for awkward moments, and I can't even blame these ones on anybody else.
So there I was walking the dog with Ross. We weren't going far, just around the block. Considering I live a mile from the school, I often run into McKay students. On this particular walk, a girl that lives in the next cul-de-sac over was standing outside with some guy friends. Trying to be the Joe-Cool teacher, I shouted a hello. Then said something to the effect of, "I haven't seen you in a long time. Are you not in PE this year?" To which she replied, "Miss Wright, I just talked to you in class yesterday. Remember I borrowed your keys to get back into the locker room?" Doh. Right. Um, I didn't recognize her without her glasses...? I turned red, mumbled something about being forgetful, and quickly walked around the corner.
My next blunder came on Valentine's day. Simply put, I made dinner for my boy and caused an allergic reaction. It wasn't a Hitch moment, but it wasn't exactly the "reaction" I was hoping to get from a nice dinner.
Last but not least, was today. I'm still trying to pretend like it didn't happen. I had track practice at Willamette today. On the car ride there, I was snacking on some trail mix that consisted of chocolate chips, raisins, and almonds. Innocent enough. At least I thought so, until practice was over and I was back at my car. There on my car seat was a quarter sized stain of melted chocolate. Horrified, I twisted around to look at the butt of my pants. Yep, right on the seam in the worst possible location was a nice brown smear that closely resembled...well, use your imagination. The only thing that really saved me from total and utter humiliation was that most of practice I spent my time in the track shed organizing track bins and doing some inventory. Unfortunately, the other coaches also spent some time in the track shed, and of course, I had my back to them the whole time. Mmmmm, chocolaty...Good work Bob.

Fashion Police

I was walking downtown Salem this week and this is what I saw: a high schoolish aged boy walking with his friends. Pretty run of the mill, except for the outfit. I think he must have woken up late or dressed while he was still asleep. He had on two different socks - not that Ross isn't wearing two different socks right this second, but at least they're both white and ankle high. This guy had one short, white, athletic sock and one black, kind of saggy, calf high sock. I could see his socks because he was wearing basketball shorts. I noticed his basketball shorts because they seemed oddly out of place paired with his knit sweater. I'm pretty sure this guy won't be winning any best dressed awards.

Fine. I'll blog.

So I figured I'd better blog something soon or risk certain death. (Me, dramatic? Never.)
It's been an eventful couple of weeks, but so much has happened I hardly know where to start.
I went duck hunting with Ross and Youk. Ross was dead shot for two birds. The ones that got away? I won't mention those five.
I got a new pan. Yes, it is most certainly blog worthy. Mom and dad bought it for me for my birthday. It's beautiful.
It's a cast iron Le Creuset Fry Pan. I'm in love. Again, Ross, I'm sorry, but you just don't have the same curves or even heat conduction. You're cute though. At least you have that on your side.
Most recently we were down in CA for a race and a baby shower. Ross stayed in Rogue River with dad to cut wood and shoot things. I'm just speculating, but they probably drank some beers and farted too.
The race was a good one, but the baby shower was the real event. I'll share more when I get some pictures sent my direction (hint, hint - Shae, Aunt Nan). Quentin "baby bear" Marquez was at his cutest and broke hearts everywhere he went. I won't mention that he had some serious, projectile spit-up down the front of Grandma Dutra's nice white blouse. I probably shouldn't bring up the blow out diaper my cousin's baby had the instant she arrived. I definitely will keep the two margaritas my 85-year-old Great Aunt Marion was nursing to myself (one of them may have belonged to grandma, but it was very hard to tell). Instead I'll share with you the picture I do have.

More to come...

I'm busy.

If you were wondering, I haven't fallen off the face of the blogging earth. I've just been busy. This is my busiest time of year. Basketball + track practice + teaching + baby showers + races = no computer time.
But because she's more dedicated than me, my PE co-star has done a better job of recording some of our shinanigans. You can read about the latest HERE.

Until next month...