Guilty.

 

Do You see that cute innocent face?  Looks can be deceiving.  Trust me.  Today was "take your dog to work" day.  Well, not really, but that's what I did.  I waited until the students were gone (they only have half days during finals), I went and got some ice cream with my partner in PE crime (yes, it was an absolutely necessary detour), and then packed the dog up and brought him back to the office. 

So he was doing really well, checking things out, and I was checking my e-mail, working on entering grades, and checking my e-mail again.  My two office mates were similarly engaged at their desks.  No big deal, right?  Well, then there was a question about a student and a phone call that had to be made.  As I'm talking to one of our health teachers, my nostrils were assaulted by a most heinous odor.  I panicked, trying to end the phone call as cordially and quickly as possible, hoping to escape the room without having to inhale a second time.  No such luck.  Laughing and gagging, I watched first one and then the other of my office pals grimace look at each other, me, then the dog before breaking for the door and out into the hallway.  

That's right, Youk cleared the room.  His dad is so proud.  Gross.      

Shhhhhhh! Don't tell.

Guess what I'm doing right now? Besides blogging. You don't have to get smart. I'm at work and currently without students. I'm listening to my music, drinking coffee, eating a cookie, and soaking my feet in some kind of warm water and foot soak stuff. Yeah, I know I'm ridiculous. That's just how I roll. :) Don't be jealous, be a PE teacher. It's pretty sweet. It's about time to get productive again, but I wanted to spend a few moments bragging first. :) Muhahahaha.

(Don't worry, you wouldn't be so jealous if you knew the disgusting job of cleaning out lockers that I am about to embark on. You have to take the good with the bad, I guess.)

Happy Thursday!

Birthdays

It's a little after the fact, but the pictures are worth posting, so here's a look back.

Ryan's birthday was shortly after Christmas, but we celebrated a few weeks later. Shae knows how to do thing right, so it was bowling, beer, and hot wings. We had a good time, but I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

The birthday boy and his buddies.

Look at that form!

The Boys and Their Balls.

The Girls and their balls.

Eating hot wings and my lazy eye.

Ate too many hot wings.

And that pretty much sums things up.

These are a few of my favorite things...

You have to sing it to the tune of My Favorite Things from the sound of music.
Applesauce in oatmeal and carmel on ice cream. Bright colored shorts and warm running mittens...okay quit trying to follow the tune, it's not going to work. I can't carry a tune in a bucket (which reminds me of another song), and I can still tell it's not going to work. But these really are my favorite things. I also like glitter and stickers (that's for you Mom) and pretty much all things edible, which means it's a good thing I like running. And if anyone wants to send me some Chipotle for lunch, I'll write you a real nice thank you letter in return. Lunch starts at 12:30 today if you're wondering...

PE Girls 1: Mice 0

Evidently our little mouse friend heard about the salmonella outbreak because he avoided our peanut butter shmeared mouse trap. Fortunately (for us, not him), he wasn't privy to the dangers of deep porcelain sinks. Jessica, being the kind natured individual she is deep down...very deep down (hehe), caught the ironically dehydrated and hungry little squeaker in a Gatorade cup and let him loose outside. We kept the trap. Maybe we'll catch his brother...

Mouse in the House

I opened the door to my shared P.E. office Friday morning, nonchalantly turned on the lights, and set my bag on an empty chair.  The school was quiet as our students had the day off and my office mates hadn't yet arrived.  Anxious to get some serious work done (or e-mails written), I sat down and immediately got to it.  My attention was focused on my computer screen when I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye.  I turned to look in the direction of the movement, but saw nothing out of the ordinary.  The dust bunnies were still accumulating between the wall and my desk, and the wad of cords coming from every electronic in the office were still tangled around the overloaded surge protector at my feet.  It must have been my imagination I thought.  After typing a few more lines, I turned to remove something from my file-cabinet, and that's when I saw him.  Small, furry, two rounded ears, and a skinny little tail - he fit the description to a "T."  This wasn't just any mouse, this was a descendant of the great Mrs. Frisby (affiliation - The Rats of Nimh).  Wikipedia it if you are feeling lost.  Anyhow, I knew what I saw, and I know this: they may be able to out smart a farmer, but if they're going to mess with this PE teacher, they have another thing coming!  

I e-mailed a custodian for a mouse trap and kept my feet off the floor the rest of the day.  

Really!?!

Don't believe everything you read.

And yet, I wonder?

I ran past a sign at the city library today that read,  "No skateboards, rollerblades, roller-skates, or two wheeled bicycles beyond this point."  Does that mean unicycles and tricycles are fair game???

Hi ho hi ho, to the dump we go!

I love the dump.  There's something so satisfying about a trip to this place of waste and refuse.  I get caught up in the sights, sounds, and let's not forget the smells.  Yes indeed, I do like going to the dump.  The old mattresses, family room couches, and the super hero torso made of grey plastic, where did they come from?  Who did they belong to?  And what kinds of stories could they tell?  This introspection about someone else's trash is all fine and well, but doesn't explain the real reason I love the dump.  

What it boils down to is this: I like to throw stuff down and watch it break.  

What's in a name?

In my job, I've come across some pretty unique names. These are a few of my favorites.

Ada Yu - shortest name ever

Singeichy Onamwar - longest name, so far

Queen Dash - coolest full name ever

Thankyou - funniest first name

Action - best first name

Rain - best last name

Aiashy Aiashy - First and last name, how do you pronounce that?

Boblee - I just like it

Phairy - Yessssss

Best nicknames (and these are what they go by):

Head fake

Peanut

Midget

Sasquatch - and this was at the request of the student, I'm not sure what his real name is...

Good times, great names.

What?

Do you ever feel like you're living someone else's life?  Like the things that you are doing are so outside of your personality, it can't possibly be real?  Yeah, me either. 

Holler ! Basketballer!

I love basketball.  Next to running, it's my favorite sport.  I can even handle watching it from time to time on TV with out getting too ADD.  The game moves fast, and athletes who are good at it demonstrate both athleticism and intelligence.  That is, athletes who are not currently high school girls.  Now, before getting too blustery about my criticism and sexism, let me make my point.  I don't mean just any HS girls.  There are some great HS athletes, and I enjoy watching them play, but the HS girls I watched tonight, confirmed the stereotypes given to all the rest of us past. present, and future players, and consequently, made it harder to escape from beneath their weight.  

What I just witnessed for two very long hours, was a brawl with a ball on a basketball court.  Girls were going down left and right.  In fact, some of them spent more time on their butts than their feet.  Rather than move around their opponents they tried to run through them, as if that extra step one way or the other would have been too much work.  It was entertaining in the Jerry Springer sense, but not very athletic.  Meanwhile, the refs tried to out do one another in the "most bizarre call" contest.  At least the fans kept it to a minimum.  Scantily clad, skinny white boys getting their groove on was the most excitement there.  They actually gave the "cheer leaders" (another questionable athletic group) a run for their money.  

Oh the joys of high school...

Doggone Dog!

Oh to be a dog. I used to know a song about that actually..."I wanna be a dog. I wanna have dog breath..." Yeah, it wasn't a very good song.
Youk, the dog, has been in fine form as of late. Holy cow! Holy dog. He's supposed to be on limited activity to help heal his hurt leg, so there may be a little pent up energy at work. This was my afternoon with him:

1. I let him out of his kennel - he runs full bore into the yard and does a victory lap.
2. I frantically try to slow him down - he fakes right, dodges left.
3. I let him inside on his bed - he pounces his bed and tries to shake the life out of it.
4. I let him off his bed - he tries to sneak into the kitchen (a well known no-no).
5. I go into my room - he follows right under my feet (literally) and plops down on the floor.
6. I start cleaning - he starts chewing my computer cord.
7. I take away the computer cord - he finds my slipper.
8. I take away my slipper - he finds a kleenex in the garbage.
9. I take away the kleenex - he starts licking the toilet.
10. I shoo him out of the bathroom - he races through the house.
11. I frantically try to slow him down - he fakes right, dodges left.
12. I put him in his crate - he whines.
13. I leave.

Youk 12: Bobbi 13 - I win.

Run Forrest!

I think I have a problem. Hi. My name is Bobbi and I am a runaholic.
Here is an ode to running. (I don't really know what an ode is, but I'm about to do some serious rhyming. Don't be alarmed if it makes little sense or has no rhythm, just go with it.)

I am a self proclaimed runner.
I can think of nothing 'funner'
than logging some miles with my mother,
sister, friends or somebody or another.

I like to run long and far,
especially in places you can't get to by car.
Hills and trails that raise the bar,
logging roads and parks are all above par.

I run early before others are awake,
or late when it's for my own sanity's sake.
I run out my frustration when I've made a mistake,
and I run to burn Calories from the things that I ate.

Sometimes running is my love song
back to the God to whom I belong.
It's my time to think, to dream, to long,
and it's running that makes me strong.

I like to run. :) I am so excited for Saturday, and my first run with a new group of people I've never really met before. My church is starting a run/walk group to help get people healthy and motivated and what not. I'm super excited about it. And yes, I am a little sick - I looked up some of their times in races I knew they had run, now that I know their names. Hehe. Who does that? But for real, I'm just excited to have somebody to run with, and I'm really excited to have the opportunity to hopefully make some connections with people I go to church with. I recognize faces here and there, but I don't really know anybody. This should be fun. Yea running! :)

Girls in white dresses...

Wow, after having a three week "weekend," two days just doesn't seem sufficient. Isn't there some way we can work with this schedule?

I went wedding dress shopping today...(don't get all excited until you finish reading the sentence)...with my friends, Stacy and Lauren. Stacy is getting married in just 6 and 1/2 months. It's a good thing it's not sooner because evidently it can take that long to get the dress back. I'm glad it's not me. She looked so pretty in every dress she tried on, and now she has to make some decisions. We needed to make a collage of each of the favorite parts of every dress - the straps and length of one, fabric and color of another, a sash here, lace overlay there. I could make a real mess. The dress is the best part (husbands aside) so it's kind of a big deal. I just hope she finds one with nice sleeves. I'll provide the chap stick.... Anyone?

Yummmmm!

I like ice cream.  It's real good, and I'm a big fan.  I like chocolate ice cream, vanilla ice cream, homemade ice cream, store bought, slow churned, soft serve, coldstone, Dairy Queen, low fat, all fat, frozen yogurt, gelato, milkshakes, malts, ice cream cake, ice cream sandwiches, ice cream cones, ice cream bars, ice cream pops, ice cream floats, ice cream with toppings, ice cream without toppings, pie and ice cream, brownies and ice cream, banana splits with ice cream, fried ice cream, Umpqua, Tillamook, Dryers, Ben and Jerry's, pretty much I just like it.   

Bad Students

If you've ever heard that teachers make the worst students. It's true. It seems that teachers at my school are up in arms trying to out do one another in "worst student" status. Teachers' meetings are miserable, not because those in charge have nothing to say. Sometimes they do. The thing that makes these meetings miserable is the staff. If we got rid of the teachers, the meetings would go pretty smoothly and would be over in about a 1/3 of the time. I think teachers just like to hear their own voices, but care very little to listen to anyone else. It's frustrating. An administrator may have just said that, "Students will have half days for finals, and you can work on grades the second half of the day when finals are completed." Then, five consecutive teachers will ask the same question in varying forms, but they will be sure to use very educated language. So while they sound stupid for asking what's just been said over and over and over, at least we all know they have a large vocabulary. I also like the teacher who uses up time asking questions that apply only to themselves. So we all get to hear about their issues, and waste even more time - which everyone complains they don't have enough of in the first place. Really, is this necessary? We despise classes who won't be quiet and listen to what we have to say, yet we're perfectly willing to bestow this behavior on our superiors or anyone who ventures to stand up in front of our ranks and speak. It takes for-ev-er for teachers to shut-up and pay attention, and heaven forbid someone makes a mistake. Teachers have no qualms pointing out these faults immediately, repeatedly, and with very little tact. It's awesome. It makes me proud of my profession. I sound like a grouch, but really I'm just laughing at myself and those I work with. We're a funny contradiction of people. Oh well, it keeps things interesting.

Oh disasters

I bought some really fancy dish washing gloves on Saturday.  They were green hypoallergenic, non-latex, double thick, extra grip, wash the dishes for you gloves.  I'd been meaning to get new gloves for several days, and while I was at Lowes making some other purchases, I came across an aisle of cleaning products that contained several varieties of rubber gloves.  I looked over my options, excited at the prospect of being able to once again wash dishes pain free.  Unfortunately, Lowes caters to normal people.  They had several varieties of gloves in small and medium sizes, but just one pair of gloves in size 'Man Hands.'  It was the most expensive pair available, and you only got one pair per package whereas most other varieties were able to fit two pairs into a package at half the cost.  I guess the extra materials that went into making Large gloves or the special mold for creating these gloves inflated the price.  At any rate, I made my purchase convinced that my new fancy gloves would be well worth the price paid.  At home I immediately set to regaining control of my kitchen sink.  You can imagine my dismay when I opened my package of hoity toity dish washing gloves and put on the right handed glove only to find a second right handed glove left in the package.  I thought, are these gloves uni-handed like some mittens? Did I buy a package of right gloves?  Are these made specially for the right hand-y capped?  I did my best to cope with the cruel twist of fate.  I put my right handed glove backwards on to my left hand, and made it through a small pile of dishes before my thumb, pulled awkwardly out of joint caused my whole hand to cramp and become utterly useless.  That's when I realized, I really was left handy cramped...  

Hi Ho Hi Ho, back to work we go...

We are one period back into the cussing, whining, and full out stuborness of high school students, and I'm almost ready for another three week intermission.
But teaching is supposed to be so rewarding and fullfilling, right? Wrong. Christmas, spring, and summer breaks are rewarding. Yes ma'am. I do like vacations.
Work isn't all bad I suppose. There is definitely humour in this job, sometimes you just have to look for it. For example, a freshman boy currently in the sex ed unit of his health class asked the newely married male PE teacher if he had "conceived yet." Now that's funny. Then there are the girls with their painted on pants and big hair. What statement are they trying to make exactly? Girls, you can't balance out the size of your hips by adding to the size of your head. Doesn't work. Sorry. But you do look funny, and I can appreciate that. My other favorite joke (besides all of the excuses for why they can't participate in class) is watching the boy who thinks he's just run a marathon after we do our 12 minutes of walking and jogging. He likes to hunch over, hold his chest, and walk with a limp. Everyday. After every run. Until he's been revitalized by the water fountain, and suddenly miracle upon miracles he can breath, his limp is gone, and he's ready for more.
Oh, the life of a PE teacher. Can we do something about the B.O. though? I mean seriously people, it's disgusting. Keep your arms down when you talk to me.....sheesh.

Costco, a great place to shop.

Did you know Costco sells coffins?  They do.  I looked it up.  They offer a great deal.  You can get urns too, but you have to buy them in bulk...

Playing House

Sometimes owning your own house can be a pain in the butt.  Like when the kitchen linoleum is a disaster, the sliding glass door's handle breaks off, and the dishwasher won't function properly.  But sometimes it's a blast.  Like right now.  The dog and I have enjoyed a nice and relaxed New Year's Eve and New Year's morning re-organizing and re-decorating.  I have thoroughly enjoyed finding places to put all of my Christmas gifts, and Youk has enjoyed re-arranging his bed.  Most recently he has moved it from it's location in the middle of the living room, to a spot nearer to the sliding glass door; presumably, to have a better view of the yard.  He was snoring like a logger a minute ago, so it must be a prime location.  It's also closer to the heater vent, so maybe that was the attraction.  At any rate, it's almost 10:00 and I'm still in my PJ's enjoying the lazy morning while listening to the wind and rain outside.  Eventually, I'll get inspired to change my clothes and go for a run, but in the mean time I'm going to enjoy playing house for a little bit longer.