mouse in da house...again

Eeeeew.
Jessica, I just want you to know that I spotted your little desk buddy this morning. He left a few little treats for you. I heard him scurrying around, and I watched him run right by our strategically placed trap. I think we might have to step up our play to the next level. No more Mrs. Nice Guy...Gal - that really doesn't roll off the tongue quite as nice does it? But you get the point. "Here mousey, mousey, mousey." I'm going hunting...

The Big Apple

No. Not that big apple.



This big apple.

Remember I have man hands. Those apples are huge. The one on the left is 1.25lbs. The one on the right took my thirty minutes to eat.

Amen.

HA!

Mary had a little lamb...

...and I ate him last night.
I've never really had lamb before, but we went to some friends' of Ross last night for dinner and they made lamb stew. It was pretty good. I just had to be careful because I knew if I thought about little Lamb Chops, I'd manage to gross myself out too much to be able to enjoy the wonderful dinner and company.
I did that with apricots once. My sister bought some of these all natural, shrively, dried apricots that had a funny blackish color to them. They reminded me so much of the cadaver toes in my anatomy class that I couldn't stomach them. I got scratched by that same cadaver's toenail when I was a teacher's assistant in that class. I died a thousand deaths after that one. We were trying to flip the body...but maybe that is too much information for a family friendly blog. I'm not really sure how I started with Mary's lamb and ended here. It's hard being me. :)
Happy eating.

evis·cer·ate

Eviscerate - 1 a : to take out the entrails of : disembowl b: to deprive of vital content or force 2: to remove an organ from (a patient) or the contents of (an organ)

I learned this word recently during a staff meeting. It was the first time I ever remember hearing it, and it was used so repeatedly (we won't discuss the reasons why here) that I added it to my vocabulary by the time the meeting concluded.

To the lady who did this, I just dare you to try it again. Evicerate. Evicerated.

Butt heads, butt cracks, and Butterfingers

That pretty much sums up my Monday. Well, except for the Butterfinger part. I just needed a third word that started with butt. I'm not kidding with the heads and cracks though. I can tell you that for sure. My butt heads were at their best, or worse, if you will during class today. And I had a butt crack stare me full in the face twice today. Count it - twice. I could give you more of the disgusting details of how my big boys can't keep their britches up, but it makes me gag, and I feel inclined to spare you a similar reaction.

On a more cheerful note, HAPPY (belated) 50th BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!
That's her on the right. The baby, not the woman - just to clear up any confusion.
I wrote her/sung her, her very own birthday song yesterday. I think I could write her another one right now. Yes, I do feel a song coming on. Watch out Mama Joe, here it comes!

Happy 50 years and a day.
I hope your next 364 are so gay (as in happy).
You've grown up incredibly fast.
Knowing you all these years has been a blast.
I remember when you were tall.
Now I stand next to you, and you seem really small.
Enjoy eating your ice cream and cake.
But save me a bite for goodness sake. (At least save some ice cream for me. Sheesh.)

I guess it is more of a birthday poem than song, but I am just leaving it open for future additions. You know, I wouldn't want to use up all of my rhyming talent in one sitting.

Foot-in-mouth syndrome

Who hasn't been in the position where a compliment goes wrong? I mean, it happens to everyone right? Right? I've been there...more than once. My most recent recipient of such a compliment was yours truly, Ross-hole. Not that he wasn't as deserving of the non-compliment as he was of the intended one. ;) It does go to show, however, that my foot-in-mouth syndrome knows no bounds.
Yesterday I was visiting some friends from college. One of whom is a few years younger than me, but she and I connected with through cross country. In the running realm, I feel very comfortable around her, but she is much more socially with it (translate: well dressed, well versed in current events, well spoken) than I am. So in social scenes, I always feel a little out of my element.
Okay, so that's the background I was coming from when I was talking to Ross later that afternoon. We were walking the dog, and I basically told him that I really appreciated that he wasn't like my well dressed, well spoken, well versed friend and I could be comfortable around him. Yeah, that sounded like a compliment to him too, and you can bet he didn't give me a chance to remove that foot from my mouth for even a second. He just handed me a shovel.
What I meant, Ross, was I appreciate that I've always been able to just be myself around you. I've never had to fake it, and you still choose to date me, and that is something.
Happy almost two-years of dating........sucker. ;)