So it begins

Day #1 of Ross and my trip to Maine:

Wake up before the butt-crack of dawn (Bobbi Dawn), and out the door by 4:00AM.  Drive 40min to park the car where a taxi is supposed to meet us at 4:40.  Wait five minutes.  Get a little anxious.  Ross needs a bathroom so bad he's starting to sweat it out.  Give the cab company a call because magically even though he can't remember his own birth year, Ross has memorized the cab phone number after dialing it twice.  Find out from the dispatcher that the cab came at 4:10, which is kind of like 4:40, but not really.  The cabby shows up at 5:00 and swears he was at the house at 4:35.  Funny, we were there at 4:35.  He accused us of over sleeping.  I'll show you over sleep!  Don't mess with the Boucher when she's tired buddy!!  Get to the airport.  The line is longer than tarnation.  (Don't worry if I spelled tarnation wrong, I've been up since 3:35AM.  Don't worry if tarnation isn't even a word, I make things up.)  Try to cut (by accident).  Get sent to the end of the line.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Get checked in, go through security.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Board the plane.  Every seat is full, and despite choosing our seats five months in advanced, they moved us from the exit row to the very last row, aisle seats across from each other - next to the bathrooms.  A bizillion people had to use the bathroom during the flight.  That means, I had a bizillion booties and bellies in my face for the better part of the trip, and-it-stunk-most-of-the-trip.  More impressively, Ross got seated next to the fattest combined couple on the aircraft.  He had to sit sideways the whole flight.  

Arrived in NY without further incidence except for being snubbed one of my complimentary in-flight beverages.  Dang it.  I wanted that beverage.  We waited in NY for our commuter flight to Maine.  Prayed for better seats - got bathroom seats.  This time the bathroom was directly across the aisle.  It stunk.  It stunk real bad.  It's only a 55min flight people.  Did you really have to go that bad?  We sat.  We held our breath.  The captain came over the loud speaker and announced that somebody had a cell phone on, and it was interrupting their communication signal.  I checked my phone.  It was off.  Ross checked his phone.  Guilty.  At long last, we arrived in Maine.  Ross' sis graciously picked us up and drove us the hour or so to his Mom's place where it finally dawned on me that: IT'S SUMMER BREAK!!!!  WOOHOOO!  :)